Dogs Quotes

Sourced

  • Yet the dogs eat of the crumbs which fall from their masters’ table.
    o The Bible, Matthew xv. 27.

  • Cry Havoc! and let slip the dogs of war.
    o Antony; in William Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar, Act III, Scene i (1599)

  • Turn, hell-hound, turn!
    o Macduff; in William Shakespeare’s Macbeth, Act V, Scene viii (c. 1605)

  • I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven’t got the guts to bite people themselves.
    o August Strindberg, A Madman’s Diary (1895)

  • Beaten dog tastes better.
    o Dan Kim

  • It’s funny how dogs and cats know the inside of folks better than other folks do, isn’t it?
    o Eleanor Porter, Pollyanna (1912)

  • A dog will make eye contact. A cat will, too, but a cat’s eyes don’t even look entirely warm-blooded to me, whereas a dog’s eyes look human except less guarded. A dog will look at you as if to say, “What do you want me to do for you? I’ll do anything for you.” Whether a dog can in fact, do anything for you if you don’t have sheep (I never have) is another matter. The dog is willing.
    o Roy Blount, Jr., “Dogs Vis-A-Vis Cats,” Now Where Were We?, Random House (1989)

  • On the Internet, nobody knows you’re a dog.
    o Peter Steiner, cartoon in The New Yorker (July 5, 1993)

  • My little old dog: A heart-beat At my feet.
    o Edith Wharton

    Unsourced

  • A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.
    o Robert Benchley

  • A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
    o Josh Billings

  • A dog’s best friend is his illiteracy.
    o Ogden Nash

  • A dog owns nothing, yet is seldom dissatisfied.
    o Irish Proverb

  • A door is that which a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
    o Ogden Nash

  • A puppy is but a dog, plus high spirits, and minus common sense.
    o Agnes Repplier

  • Animals are such agreeable friends — they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms.
    o George Eliot

  • Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you’re coming home his face might burn up.
    o Jack Handy

  • Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that’s how dogs spend their lives.
    o Sue Murphy

  • Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.
    o Roger Caras

  • Dogs have more love than integrity. They’ve been true to us, yes, but they haven’t been true to themselves.
    o Clarence Day

  • Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
    o Ann Landers

  • Even the smallest dog can lift its leg on the tallest building.
    o Jim Hightower

  • Happiness is a warm puppy.
    o Charles M. Schulz

  • Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
    o Mark Twain

  • I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don’t just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.
    o Jack Handy

  • I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven’t got the guts to bite people themselves.
    o August Strindberg

  • I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
    o Rita Rudner

  • If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer.
    o Alfred North Whitehead

  • If dogs could talk, perhaps we’d find it just as hard to get along with them as we do people.
    o Karel Caprek

  • If it be the chief point of friendship to comply with a friend’s motions and inclinations, he possesses this in an eminent degree; he lies down when I sit, and walks when I walk, which is more than many good friends can pretend to do.
    o Alexander Pope

  • If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail.
    o Fran Lebowitz

  • If you live among dogs, keep a stick. After all, this is what a hound has teeth for — to bite when he feels like it!
    o Nikita Khrushchev

  • If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
    o Mark Twain

  • In the future, airplanes will be flown by a dog and a pilot. And the dog’s job will be to make sure that if the pilot tries to touch any of the buttons, the dog bites him.
    o Scott Adams (of Dilbert, not Adventure International)

  • Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won’t buy the wag of his tail.
    o Josh Billings

  • My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That’s almost $7.00 in dog money.
    o Joe Weinstein

  • Never pet a burning dog.
    o Philip Gordon Wylie

  • Oh, no, it’s not dogs I don’t like — it’s corgis. They get the blame for all the farts.
    o Diana, Princess of Wales

  • Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to.
    o Joe Gores

  • Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.
    o Groucho Marx

  • The dog was created specially for children. He is a god of frolic.
    o Henry Ward Beecher

  • The greatest pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him, and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself, too.
    o Samuel Butler

  • The more I see of the representatives of the people the more I admire my dogs.
    o Alphonse de Lamartine

  • The reason dogs have so many friends is because they wag their tails instead of their tongues.
    o Unknown

  • We are alone, absolutely alone on this chance planet: and, amid all the forms of life that surround us, not one, excepting the dog, has made an alliance with us.
    o Maurice Maeterlinck

  • What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight, what counts is the size of the fight in the dog.
    o Mark Twain

  • When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news.
    o John Bogart

  • When a dog runs at you, whistle for him.
    o Henry David Thoreau

  • Yesterday I was a dog. Today I’m a dog. Tomorrow I’ll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There’s so little hope for advancement.
    o Snoopy (Charles M. Schulz)

  • I created dog, to mend the error I made in creating man.
    o God

  • When a dog wags her tail and barks at the same time, how do you know which end to believe?” –
    o Robin Williamsin Man of the Year

  • I’ve seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts.
    o John Steinbeck

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