Pick-up lines Quotes

Famous Pick-up Lines

  • “Was that cannon fire, or is it my heart pounding?”

    Ilsa in Casablanca with Ingrid Bergman and Humphrey Bogart. Warner Bros. 1942, directed by Michael Curtiz.

  • “Let’s go somewhere we can be alone. Ah, there doesn’t seem to be anyone on this couch,”

    S. Quentin Quale in “Go West” with Groucho Marx and June Maccloy. MGM 1940, directed by Edward N. Buzzell.

  • “Give me a kiss or I’ll sock you.”

    Frank in The Postman Always Rings Twice with John Garfield and Lana Turner. MGM 1946, directed by Tay Garnett.

  • “If I were to send you flowers… No wait, let me rephrase: If I were to let you suck on my tongue, would you be grateful?”

    Nicholas Cage in Face/Off, directed by John Woo.

  • “You know, I’m responsible for those crop circles.”

    Jerry Seinfeld in Seinfeld

  • “How you doin’?”

    Joey Tribbiani in Friends

    Cliché

  • You come here often?
  • What’s your sign?
  • Can I get a light?
  • Do I know you?

    Straightforward

  • Hi, my name is name, how do you like me so far?
  • Can I flirt with you?
  • Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?
  • Tell me, first impression, would you marry me?
  • Hey
  • You look almost as good as your mum did last night.

    Boyfriend/Girlfriend

  • I’ve lost my girlfriend. Can I talk with you? Every time I start talking to a beautiful woman, she always shows up.

    Body Parts

    Eyes

  • The only thing your eyes haven’t told me is your name.
  • Was your father a thief? Because I want to know who stole the stars from the skies and put them in your eyes.
  • Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

    Legs

  • The word of the day is legs. Let’s go to your house and spread the word.
  • If your right leg’s Christmas and your left leg’s Thanksgiving, can we meet between the Holidays?
  • Nice legs. What time do they open?
  • Are your legs tired? because you’ve been running through my mind all night/day.

    Buttocks

  • Do you work at a hot dog shop? Because you’ve got the buns to do it.
  • Are those space pants? Because that ass is outta this world.

    Mouth

  • Smile. It is the second best thing you can do with your lips.

    Stomach

  • Do you sleep on your stomach? (No.) Can I?

    Breasts

  • What kind of implants do you have?

    Puns

  • Do you work at a candy store? Because you sure look like you pack a lot of fudge.
  • That outfit is very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you I’d be cumming too.
  • Is that a mirror in your pocket ’cause I can see myself in your pants.
  • Are you feeling fine cuz u looking fine
  • Are your pants made of mirrors? Because I can see myself in them.
  • My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can’t hold it in.
  • If I said you had a nice body would you hold it against me?
  • If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
  • Let’s go home and play house: you’ll be the door and I’ll practice slamming you!
  • Are you tired? Because you’ve been running through my mind all day.
  • According to my watch you are not wearing any underwear! (I am!) Oh dang, it’s running an hour too fast again.
  • If I said you had a beautiful body would you take your pants off and dance around a bit?
  • I find the most erotic part of a woman to be the boobies.
  • I want to go to your bank and make a deposit.
  • Were your parents retarded? Because you’re pretty special.

    Animals

  • Do you raise chickens? Because you made my cock grow.
  • If I was a squirrel, I’d bust a nut in your hole.
  • You remind me of a championship bass, I don’t know whether to mount you or eat you.
  • I lost my teddy-bear. Can I sleep with you?

    Biology

  • If I were an enzyme, I would be DNA helicase…that way I could unzip your genes (jeans).
  • I wish I was adenine, because then I’d be paired with U.
  • If I was an endoplasmic reticulum, how would you want me: smooth or rough?

    Mathematical

  • I’m sine squared theta; you’re cosine squared theta. Together we are one.
  • You’re good at math right? Is 69 a perfect square?
  • You wanna play 68? You do me and I’ll owe you one.
  • I want to be your derivative so I can lie tangent to your curves.
  • I want to be your second derivative so I can explore your concavity.
  • I know calculus. It says U+Me=Us.
  • Hey Baby, you look like a TI-89….because I want to put my natural log in you!
  • Being without you is liking being a metric space in which exists a Cauchy sequence that does not converge.
  • You give my vector both direction and magnitude.
  • I want to square root you.

    Physics

  • I’m so attracted to you, I think physicists are going to add a 5th fundamental force.
  • I use my rod of infinite length for more than just simplifying equations.
  • I think that dress would look better accelerating at 9.81m/s2 to my bedroom floor.
  • I know the spring constant for my matress, you wanna go take some data?
  • Do you want to see my linear particle accelarator?
  • Damn baby you Planck temperature hot!

    Computer

  • Want to come see my HARD DRIVE? I promise it isn’t 3.5 inches and it ain’t floppy.
  • You turn my floppy disk into a hard drive!
  • You turn my software into hardware.
  • Hey baby, wanna exploit my open port?

    Geology

  • Your cleavage gives me a hardness of ten
  • I see you and can’t help but think of cummingtonite…
  • Wanna do some research on hot intrusive bodies?
  • How about thrust mechanics?

    Allusions

  • Your name must be Mickey, because you’re so fine. You’re so fine you blow my mind. Hey Mickey.
  • I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I’d make your bed rock.

    Corporate

  • Do you work for UPS? ‘Cause I swear I saw you checking out my package!
  • Your body’s name must be Visa, because it’s everywhere I want to be.
  • If you were a burger at McDonalds, you would be called McGorgeous!
  • You must work at Subway ’cause you’re giving me footlongs!
  • Is your last name Campbell? Because you’re “mmm, mmm, good!”
  • Is your last name Gillette? It must be because you are the best a man can get.
  • Do you like chips? Because if you are “Frito Lay” then I am a barrel of fun!
  • My name isn’t Elmo, but you can tickle me any time you want to.
  • Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.
  • Are you Cingular? because you’re raising my bar.

    Suggestive

  • Ever had your belly button licked? From the inside?

    Forward

  • Mind if I grab a hold of your scuppers and climb aboard?
  • Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?
  • Let’s stop delaying the inevitable. You’re hot, I’m hot. Let’s just fuck now.
  • Would you help me look for my lost dog? I think he ran into that cheap motel room.
  • (Approach a group) I’m gonna have sex with you, you, and you. Alright, who’s first?
  • Can I offer you sex in exchange for sex?
  • I’m horny, lets fuck.
  • You know, if i were you, I’d have sex with me.
  • I fucked your mum. can i fuck you too?

    Misdirection

  • I’ve lost my phone number: can I have yours?
  • Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
  • Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? No? D’ya wanna do lunch?
  • I’m invisible. (Really?) Can you see me? (Yes) How about tomorrow night?
  • What time do you get off? Can I watch?
  • How about we go back to my place for some pizza and a fuck. (slap) What, you don’t like pizza?

    Confusing

  • If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
  • Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.

    Predictive

  • You look a lot like my next-girlfriend.
  • That’s a nice dress. It’d look great on the floor next to my bed.
  • I can sense that you’re a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a little.
  • I’m fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
  • I’ve got a magic watch that says you’re not wearing any panties. (I am) Oh. It must be an hour fast.
  • You should stop drinking! (Why?) Because you are driving me home.
  • Would you like to be my future ex-wife.

    Offer of food

  • Hi. You’re looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink.
  • You look lovely, I would be honored if you will accompany me to a modestly priced meal at Red Lobster and then a night of romantic movies and board games.
  • So I hear you like to eat off of other people’s meal plans…
  • Can I buy you a drink, or would you just like the money?
  • I’m homosexual, you’re a woman, give me a handjob.

    Intentionally awkward

  • So, you’re your mum huh?
  • I can make you feel like I’ve never had sex before.

    Self deprecating

  • So, do you like fat guys with no money?
  • I know I don’t look like much now, but I’m drinking milk.
  • Can i give you my phone number, just in case hell freezes over”
  • Hi, my name is George. I’m unemployed and I live with my parents.

    Immodest

  • Believe it or not, gettin’ laid is still hard when you’re this good-looking.
  • Hi, my name is Laura. I don’t have a gag reflex.
  • Hi, have you seen my Nobel Prize around here?
  • I would use a pickup line on you, but I know you’re gonna screw me anyway.

    Insulting

  • So, how much do you cost per hour?
  • So, do you have any good looking friends?

    Play on generic pickup lines

  • Are you tired? Because you’ve been running for President of Ugly-sylvania all day.
  • Hey baby, was your daddy a thief? Because you definitely seem like you were raised by felons.
  • Is your daddy a terrorist? Because, baby, you’re the bomb!
  • Your eyes are like stars, not because they are so bright but because they are so far apart.
  • Of loving beauty you float with grace, If only you could hide your face.
  • My love, you take my breath away. What have you stepped in to smell this way?
  • Did it hurt? When you clawed your way out of hell?
  • Are you hurt? (no, why) Because you just got hit by the ugly tree.
  • Did you fall from heaven? That would explain how you messed up your face.

    Other

  • If you were a booger I’d pick you first.

    Specific

    Penis-related

  • I love every bone in your body, especially mine.
  • Got any Irish [Italian, Asian, etc.] in you? [Significant pause.] Want some?
  • I got the whole dictionary tattoed on my dick. Maybe you can come over later and I can put some words in your mouth.
  • Some people get a fancy car to compensate for their small penises. Me? I don’t even have a car.
  • You know how you have 206 bones in your body, want to have 207 tonight.
  • “You must be Irish because my penis is Dublin.”
  • I have a penis. Do you?

    Fellatio

  • Want to play army? I’ll lie down and you can blow the hell out of me!

    Anal

  • May I swab ye’ poop deck?
  • Mind if i pee in your butt?

    Response required

  • I got arrested the other day. (For what?) For having two guns and a six pack.
  • Can I have directions? (To where?) To your heart!!
  • Did it hurt? (What?) When you fell from heaven?
  • Screw me if I’m wrong but is your name Gertrude?
  • Excuse me, did you just touch my ass? (No.) Would you like to?
  • (Use index finger to call someone over then say) I made you come with one finger; imagine what I could do with my whole hand.
  • Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger? (No.) Wink.
  • Excuse me, you dropped something. (What?) My jaw.
  • How do you like your eggs? (I dunno.) Boiled or fertilized?
  • What is your first name? Hmm, that goes kinda well with my last name.
  • Pick a number between 1 and 10. You lose, now take off your clothes.
  • Do you have any raisins? (No.) How about a date?
  • Let me be the first to tell you, you have a beautiful voice! (thanks)…But I think it would sound better muffeled by my penis.
  • Hi. My friend over there said that I couldn’t start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the room… can you help me out?

    Intentionally Creepy

  • Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
  • Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
  • I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?
  • Get your coat love, I’ve got a knife.
  • Let’s not turn this rape into a murder.
  • Tell me all of your secrets…
  • By Megan’s law, I am obligated to inform you that I may pose a danger to your children. How are you doing?
  • Hey look, it’s your mom’s truck!

    Other

  • Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Enough to break the ice.
  • Excuse me, I’m putting together a list of people with whom I want to have sex, and I’ll need the correct spelling of your name.
  • You know, I’ve read the entire pick-up line article on Wikiquote.
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