Spoon Quotes

Humorous quotations

  • “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I did an original sin. I poked a badger with a spoon.” – Eddie Izzard
  • “Spoon!!!” – Battle cry of The Tick, The Tick
  • From the movie Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves:
    o “Locksley! I’m gonna cut your heart out with a spoon.” – Sheriff of Nottingham
    o “Why a spoon cousin? Why not an axe?” – Guy of Gisbourne
    o “Because it’s dull, you twit, it’ll hurt more.” – Sheriff
  • “We found this spoon sir.” – Sergeant, The Life of Brian
  • “Do you know that’s the third spoon I’ve heard drop this month?” – Algy Longworth, Bulldog Drummond
  • “I think I have a plan here: using mainly spoons, we dig a tunnel under the city and release it into the wild.” Mike from Monsters Inc.
  • “I was born with a plastic spoon in my mouth” – Substitute, The Who
  • “Check it out, Guys. I got a Springfield spoon for my spoon collection… if it weren’t for my spoons, I’d probably go insane.” – Adam Clayton of U2 in an episode of The Simpsons
  • Australian: “You call that a knife? This is a knife!” Bart: “That’s not a knife, that’s a spoon.” Australian: “Alright, alright, you win. I see you’ve played knifey-spoony before.” – The Simpsons
  • “SPooooooooooooooN-GUARD” – More a quote about ‘Spoonguard’ than Spoons as such, this features in an animation on Rathergood.com
  • “There is no spoon” – In response to the somewhat grisly death of Private Witherspoon [Dog Soldiers]
  • “Ugh, he spooned me” – Random guard, after being hit in the stomach with a ladle Aladdin (television series)
  • “You there! What the hell is this?” – Father Jack, Father Ted
  • “You spoony bard!” – Tellah, FFIV
  • “Just when i thought things couldn’t get any better… he spooned me.” – Carrie, Sex and the City

    Not-humorous quotations
    There is no spoon.
    There is no spoon.

  • “And the cat’s in the cradle with the silver spoon, Little Boy Blue, and the Man in the Moon” – “Cats in the Cradle”, performed by Harry Chapin and Ugly Kid Joe
  • “A sweet lounge lizard, with a silver spoon” – Motorhead, Stone Dead Forever
  • “That tall drink of water with the silver spoon up his ass.” – Red, The Shawshank Redemption
  • “They’ll eat their words with a fork and spoon, and watch ’em! They’ll hit the road and all be surfin’ soon.” – The Beach Boys, “Catch A Wave”
  • “There is no spoon.” – Spoon Boy, The Matrix
  • “She came in through the bathroom window, protected by a silver spoon” – The Beatles
  • “And the dish ran away with the spoon.” – from the nursery rhyme, “Hey Diddle Diddle”
  • “They dined on mince, and slices of quince, Which they ate with a runcible spoon; And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand, They danced by the light of the moon” from Edward Lear
  • “Marrie he must haue a long spoone that must eate with the diuell” – William Shakespeare in The Comedie of Errors
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